Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Your Liver is Evil And Must Be Destroyed

What to drink what to drink? It's the decision you run into at the beginning of every night. Everyone has their favorite "go to" drink, but look at all those god damn bottles behind the bar, I'm willing to bet there's something exciting back there that I haven't tried yet, and if I have to sit here all night to find it... so be it.

Friends tend to all drink the same drink when they go out together, so if the first guy goes to the bar and orders a whiskey, there's a good chance the rest of the guys will be drinking the same, but there's always someone thinking, in the back of his head, "fuck... not a whiskey night". He's usually the one who ends up in the Monday Wasted Weekend Pic Drop.

An average twentysomething drinker (read: alcoholic) usually has a drink that he will use as his "go to" for a long period of time before he either gets sick of it or can no longer been seen drinking it. Lets face it, it's okay to drink Milwaukee's Best and SoCo & lime shots in college. It's not okay to order at a wine and cheese party your girlfriends parents are throwing. By the way, if that's the best Milwaukee has to offer, I don't need to visit Milwaukee anytime soon. I used to order vodka & tonics all through college, it was my drink of choice or "go to". I liked the drunk, it was familiar and I thought pretty classy at the time. I haven't had one in about 2 years so i guess it just ran it's course. I wonder if it will make a reappearance sometime down the road? As you get older you find drinks more appropriate to drink in certain circumstances. Some of my friends have started drinking scotch and I have to admit, they look classier and a little bit more sophisticated. However just like any drink, there is an appropriate time for it, and an inappropriate time. "If you didn't want me to dissect the intricacies of early 90s Nickelodeon at the office Christmas party, you wouldn't have served Scotch. That's on you".

As always, some random thoughts from this weekend:

  • When I was in college I could basically go out and mix whatever the hell I wanted to, all night long, with no repercussions. Liquor before beer your.. beer before liquor.. ahhh who gives a damn. "Get me a beer and put a shot of tequila in it! Fuck you drinking rules!" I realized the other night, that my body cant take it anymore and mixing Jaegermeister, tequila, beer and wine its a bad decision and I will pay the price the next morning.

  • I know I'm getting older because my friends are trying to class up opportunities to get hammered. For example, tomorrow night I'm going to a "whiskey tasting." Is it me, or is that just an excuse to do shots of Jack Daniels on a Wednesday? I have no problem with it but lets call a spade a spade here.

  • If you are on a boat it's never too early to start drinking.

  • You are not supposed to take acetaminophen after drinking alcohol because it might damage your liver. You really think after what I drank this weekend my liver is afraid of a little Tylenol?

  • What actually happens if you get arrested by a cop on a horse?
And finally, I've learned after several years that I do well with certain drinks, not so well with others and some will most likely end in a fight. I'm not as young as I used to be and I have to start to realize that and act like an adult. I'll keep that in mind next time I'm at a bar and one of my buddies orders a whiskey... to which I'll say to myself: "not another whiskey night... fuck me!"

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