Thursday, May 28, 2009

What did you do for Memorial Day?....

We were trying to figure out what to do for Memorial day… when a group of friends and I decided to go to Mexico. I'm still not sure why but like many of my stories that end up badly it sounded like a good idea at the time. We set out on our journey by stocking up on essentials. You know stuff like beef jerky, candy bars, chips, beer, whisky, and a little rum. We jumped in a van and began our not so long journey to across the border. We told stories about home and girls we'd dated to pass the time and before we knew it we were in Mexico. Immediately we noticed the signs for "Drink and Drowns". What a great place! For only five American dollars you can drink until you can drink no more. We thought that we had left the good old USA and found Heaven. It didn't take me very long to become so drunk that I couldn't drink anymore but longer than most of my friends. We stumbled out onto the street when out of nowhere a little person walks up to us. I thought that I was imaging the little man once he started to speak. He looked up at us and said, " For ten dollars I'll let you kick me as hard as you can."

"What?" I asked both with surprise and curiosity. This place was awesome. I got drunk for the cost of two beers and a midget just offered to let me kick him as hard as I could for less than a CD. I fell in love with Mexico at that exact moment. After a little conversation he assured us that he was serious about being kicked and I was more than happy to kick him. I myself spent eighty dollars kicking him. At first I was timid afraid that I would hurt the little guy but after watching him stand up and brush the dust from his jeans a couple of times I was ready to give him all I had. I threw a straight kick and landed it square in his gut. He slid a couple of feet and was more than happy to let my friends give him their best shots. He walked away laughing at us and three hundred dollars richer. Looking back on it I would have got my butt kicked for three hundred dollars in Mexico. It was a small fortune. Later that night we ended up seeing him in a bar that we entered. He waved with a smile on his face and we bought him a bunch of shots. He was one of the coolest people I have ever met in my entire life. I would like to see him again and may venture back down that way one day just to see if I can find him.

It was early the next morning when we decided to go back to our hotel when we were stopped by the police. I don't remember leaving the bar but I do remember the cops. The next thing that I can recall I was waking up in a Mexican jail cell. It was at that moment that I decided that maybe Mexico doesn't love me. My friends bailed me out and I was free to go. I ended up having to pay them back four hundred bucks for what they had spent on my freedom. Apparently I had puked on one of the officers that had stopped us for public intoxication. I had just finished telling them that I wasn't drunk when it happened. I spent more to get out of Mexico than the entire time that I was there including the eighty bucks I had spent kicking the little person. We thought that we had found god this time for sure in a Mexican Jail. Still no god search continues…

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