Monday, August 31, 2009

Mondays Wasted Weekend Pic Drop

Im feeling loved this weekend, so i wanna share the love with you. In the form of girls kissing girls.. wasted! ;)

Enjoy



...and they can probably out drink you

This girl is gonna eat her friend...

Check back every Monday for photo updates on the weekend's search for god. If you have any from your searches send em over Sunday and ill get them up! (email link is at the bottom of my homepage) Drunk@mysearchforgod.com

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I'm Was Hammered But This Guy is Wasted!

After a night of drinking that started late and ended later I woke up Saturday thinking my only souvenir was a hangover. It wasn't until Sunday morning when I was scrolling through some phone pics that I discovered this beauty. I'm just glad I drink just enough to still be able to find a cab and get home, or at least a patch of grass...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

Mondays Wasted Weekend Pic Drop

Fuck this weekend, i didn't get nearly drunk enough.

Who's taking her home? She might suck a dick... or puke on your bed :(

Looks like some heavy potential for a 4 way

her sorority girls did WORK

The bow tie is the real cherry on top for me

Crack kills!

Check back every Monday for photo updates on the weekend's search for god. If you have any from your searches send em over Sunday and ill get them up! (email link is at the bottom of my homepage) Drunk@mysearchforgod.com

Heidi Montag's Live "Performance" @ Miss Universe = Epic Fail

I only post this in hopes that it will further sway anyone thinking of putting her in any sort of performance to think otherwise and therefore preventing mankind from suffering.



I do have a couple questions...

  • Whats with the pre-taped clips in the middle of her sweet (*sarcasm) dance?
  • What was she thinking?
  • Does she think she is Britney Spears?
  • Why did I even watch that?
  • What am I doing putting this trash on the world wide web?
FML

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Another Creepy Clown on Ebay

This guy is on point with his outfit, he has a coat with a tail and i dont know if he is sitting on something, dancing or just took it up the butt.

For all the pics and the auction so you can buy this clown emediately Click Here

Keep the goods coming

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Drinking and Jiu Jitsu…


The weekend was a blast I hope everyone enjoyed whatever craziness they think they might have had. Until you all realized it was Monday again and now we have a little time to prepare for our new hangovers!!!

I went to the beach over the past weekend and drank as much as humanly possible once again I also surfed and I also decided that a little wrestling and maybe some Jiu Jitsu would be good! I figure maybe if I could submit someone on the beach I might be able to have enough clout to find god or at least claim that I might have seen him.

This dude was submitted and then made a example of, I think... I can't really remember this dude might actually be me... Shit!!!

Moral of the story do not drink and run around the beach trying to submit random people. Still no god search continues.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Mondays Wasted Weekend Pic Drop

I don't think my liver likes me after this weekend. Drinking and jumping jacks don't mix, especially when you try to do it all at once.

I think I had 2 of these

Remember your first drink?

Now that's art!

Captain Creepy is catchin a feel

Stay Classy

I wanna see more ink next time, good effort

Check back every Monday for photo updates on the weekend's search for god. If you have any from your searches send em over Sunday and ill get them up! (email link is at the bottom of my homepage) Drunk@mysearchforgod.com

Friday, August 14, 2009

Friday Drink Drop: Purple Lobster

Normally lobsters and drinking don't mix. Although you may have had a close encounter with a Red Lobster or two on those lonely nights, but this week we are stepping it up and going to the lobster dark side.



Ingredients:

  • 1.5oz Crown Royal Canadian Whisky
  • 1.5oz Chambord Raspberry Liqueur
  • 2 Splash Cranberry Juice
  • 3 Splash Sprite
Pour into a shaker with ice, shake and strain into a rocks glass. Enjoy your creepy lobster.

Robin from Rok Room Orlando will be back next week for some more live action bar tending, until then stay safe this weekend and keep the drink recipes coming. DRUNK@mysearchforgod.com

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Man vs. Mold

Dear Phytophthora Mold Growing in My Shower Stall, (Actually, while the Phytophthora may technically be your correct name, may I just call you "Mold"? After all, you've seen me naked.)

Mold, we have been living together now for quite some time and I think its fair to say that we have had a stable, but adversarial relationship. I kill you, you grow back. I kill you again, you grow back again. I kill you yet again, you grow back, and so on. For the most part things have proceeded along these lines quite nicely. I don't spend too much time killing you and you don't grow back too quickly. We had reached a state of equilibrium. Oh sure, my methods of getting rid of you have varied over the years, I remember the early days when the weapon of choice was Windex and paper towels, which as you know is the traditional male method for dealing with any and all cleaning jobs ranging from spilled soda to cleaning-up a major crime scene involving disembowelment and ritual sacrifice. I used to believe that if you can't clean it with Windex and paper towels then you're just not using enough Windex and paper towels. If a particular stain proved especially difficult I'd use name-brand Windex and not the store brand. That just how I was raised, God Bless America.

For the most part things progressed along these lines quite nicely, and by that I mean the shower stall got clean enough to keep the girlfriend happy and I didn't feel the need to take a shower when I was taking my shower, if you know what I mean. Now Mold, I have always understood your need and desire to grow and exist, and I'm pretty sure you're aware that I will do whatever I need to do you kill you so long as it does not require any real effort on my part whatsoever. I'm dedicated, but lazy. But lately something has changed, YOU have changed. Whereas before you would retreat in horror and disappear after one of my cleaning attacks, lately it seems you have grown stronger. You have found the strength to gain a foot-hold at the bottom left corner of the shower stall. I've scrubbed and scrubbed, but yet you remain. Perhaps my friend, you have grown weary of our battle and are putting all your efforts into one last fight for shower stall superiority. Or perhaps you sense some weakness on my part and feel the time is right to lead an all-out frontal assault and chase me to the spare bathroom where the water pressure is less than adequate. But either way, only a fool couldn't see that your strategy to seize the bottom left corner of my shower stall is working. I must also admit that you have forced me to go deeper into my arsenal of weapons - deeper that I ever feared would be necessary. Beyond what even Windex and paper towels can accomplish. First, I started off by looking at you while I showered and thinking "Got to do something about that mold at some point." This, like all peaceful means failed miserably. Next, I brought out the big boy, the big gun, the peace maker. Name-brand Windex and Brawny paper towels. I sprayed and wiped, wiped and sprayed, sprayed and wiped. This battle went on for literally seconds, yet you remained. Possessing a short attention span and strong desire to be doing something else, I declared "mission accomplished" and watched a 3 hour marathon of "Run's House" on MTV. I spent the next 2 weeks listening to the girlfriend say things like "The mold is back in the shower". Now since I already knew that the mold had returned I found her repeated statement of the obvious to be somewhat perplexing. Only later did I learn that I was supposed to interpret this as a request to return to battle. Who knew? I was always taught that questions ended with your voice going up at the end and included the word "please", as in "Would you please stop watching "Run's House" and clean the shower?"

So back to the front! Seeing as how my name-brand Windex solution had proved ineffective, I was forced to improvise and decided to try Oven-Off. If it can remove old baked on macaroni and cheese which has dried to the consistency of cement, then how can it fail to get rid of YOU Mr. Mold? Well, while the tile shined like never before, it appears that Oven-Off too has failed, since you remain firmly entrenched in the grout. Now I sense that you grow stronger with each of my failed efforts. In fact, I'm pretty sure I heard you laughing at me while I showered. Not the first time I have been laughed at in the shower, but still, it hurt. And then an idea pops into my head! Windex contains ammonia, and I know that a lot of other cleaning products contain ammonia, so ammonia MUST be a great cleaner. But the stuff you get at the store is probably watered down, little-girl ammonia like the kind they use to make the "special sauce" at certain national burger places. No, I need full-strength ammonia from a reliable production source who isn't out to make a quick buck by selling the cheap stuff to an unsuspecting public. Then it hit me! Urine! Urine contains ammonia! And while I've never been tested, I'm pretty sure that my ammonia production is A-1, prime stuff - PURE! All I have to do is pee on the mold for a week or so with my home-made "super ammonia" and nature will work its magic. Good bye mold! At least that was the theory. You see, the girlfriend decided that my idea was "gross" and that peeing on the shower wall does not constitute "cleaning" and would not in fact lead to a cleaner shower. I said, "But look at the toilets. They're always clean and I pee in there all the time!" She then gently reminded me that cleaning toilets was her job and that's why they're clean. Now while I was mentally wrestling with whether or not to inform her that I had in fact (although unwittingly) been covertly participating in "Operation Urine" with regard to the shower floor each morning and that we would merely be changing our trajectory, the girlfriend made it quite clear that "Operation Urine" was scrubbed for a more conventional strategy. This is getting like the Korean War, everyone back home wants me to win, but won't let me do what is necessary to achieve victory. Now while the "official" answer was "I don't want you pissing on the shower wall and telling me that you've done your part to clean the bathroom" I think the real answer is that she was just jealous. Jealous that if "Operation Urine" worked, she wouldn't be able to keep her things as clean as I could keep my things clean because she lacks aim. Not her fault, but unless the stain is on the floor directly beneath her and no one is looking and there is no noise and the faucet is running, and I swear to God that I'm not peeking then she has no hope of getting her homemade ammonia to where its needed - while she has the weapon, she lacks a reliable delivery system. I also think she was afraid that my things would be home-made ammonia-clean and that her things would get grimier by the day while she pathetically peed all over herself in an attempt to clean her half of the house. I would be the hero, the guy they call in when something needs to be peed on and cleaned. I would get all the glory and she would have to live in my urine soaked shadow. So for her own selfish reasons she killed "Operation Urine", she's spiteful like that.

OK since "Operation Urine" was off the table, I was down to the bottom of the barrel, I had to take desperate action. There was no doubt about it, I would have to do the one thing I have always avoided. I'm going to have to use elbow-grease. Yup, going to actually scrub. You've pissed me off now Mold, this is now requiring EFFORT! So I moved up a notch on the guy cleaning ladder and got myself an SOS pad. Hard steel wool and powdery blue stuff - this is the kind of cleaning grandma used to do! So I start scrubbing with the SOS pad but from the start its clear that the mission is doomed. Now in addition to mold, my grout is blue from the SOS pad and the tile looks sort of scratched. "Operation Urine" would never have ended in disgrace like this!! So I decide "Screw it, I'm going nuclear." I going to get ALL the cleaning fluids in the house, Windex, Oven-Off, Tile X, bleach - all of them - and hit you with everything I got all at once. I pour it all on and I scrub, and I scrub - I scrub like the wind! Of course, the doctor said that the fumes from all those chemicals mixed together is what probably caused me to pass out hit my head on the toilet and lose control of various bodily functions. Now I don't want to go into too much detail about the loss of bodily functions, but lets just say that had "Operation Urine" not been scrubbed by the brass back at headquarters, it would have been a complete success, for when those blue jeans came out of the washing machine the next day they were like new! So I stand here before you now a defeated man looking over the battle field where his hopes were dashed and I can see that you have won. Mold, you remain firmly entrenched in the lower left corner of my shower stall. I am beaten and my only viable option is to try and make the best deal possible, so in my own Neville Chamberline-like way I offer to give you the bottom left of the shower stall permanently and in exchange I won't regrout the shower in any further attempt to kill you. You may occupy the space up and including to the 4th tile from the floor and up to and including the 3rd tile in from the corner. That space is yours now, you may rest easy on your side of the border. The war is over. I'm not sure how I'll sell this back home, how to make Mrs. Groki understand that appeasement is our only option. I'll probably do what I always do, tell her I need a special tool and that I'll get to it tomorrow. Side note: this can often be an effective strategy as witnessed by those shelves I was supposed to hang several years ago. "Need a special shelve tool honey, I'll get it tomorrow!" You know Mold, now that the battle is over, I can see you and I are not so different after all. Neither of us gains energy through photosynthesis, and we both enjoy warm, dark, moist places. So live in peace my slimy friend, and in the future, if I happen to pee on you, take no offense, my aim in the morning isn't that great.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Everyone Should Know Their Drinking Limits

...Until you die. This little tool lets you know just how much you can consume based on the drink, weight and sex. Clearly they dont know about my drinking experience... Good to know, not to try.

CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?
GIRL OR GUY?

Created by Bar Stools

Monday, August 10, 2009

Mondays Wasted Weekend Pic Drop

I didn't drink that much this weekend because my tolerance is low from not drinking every night of the week, fuck what's wrong with me..?

But somebody did...

Ill have to go out for a night on the town this Tuesday, my buddy just told me there is going to be some alligator wrestling involved! Bring on the Redneck attire and expect pictures.


Here is my bout Troy, he thinks he is slick because he hid in the bathroom. haha, i peed on him..

Now that's a prett good drinkin spot, i like the toilet paper all over the place *?


This is the just before i pass out face. I think her friend is gonna make out with her after she does...

Smokin, cupping it, biting it...

I dont normally allow beer on the bed...

Is that a cock sandwish? Classic!

Check back every Monday for photo updates on the weekend's search for god. If you have any from your searches send em over Sunday and ill get them up! (email link is at the bottom of my homepage)

Friday, August 7, 2009

Friday Drink Drop: Blonde Headed Slut Video!

Everyone loves a red headed slut, but if you wanna make something a little more select that everyone will enjoy give the Blonde Headed Slut a try.

Special thanks to Robin for making us drinks and Rok Room for letting us take some of the fine shots she made.


Ingredients:

  • 1.5oz Grand Marnier
  • 1oz Peach Schapps
  • Splash of Pinapple

This is now the official format for the Friday drink drop, so check back every Friday to see more of Robin and her friends from Rok Room.


If there is a special drink you would like to see Robin make just drop us a line and we will see what we can do. DRUNK@mysearchforgod.com

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

It's not easy being cheesy

I love cheese. It's pretty much the only food that can be put on anything. It's also the only food, that for some reason or another seems to be worse for you when melted. Weird right?

So sit back, relax and enjoy my ode to cheeses.

Favorite Cheese: Swiss
Reason:
Drawability

Swiss chesse is the only cheese you can draw and people will know what it is. Scientifically proven by the graph I made myself . I gave American cheese 24% becuase I figure clever people would make a picture of swiss cheese and then an american flag... I don't know if that's giving the general public too much credit.

Found at: Deli's and Grocery Stores
Overheard: "Watches, army knives and cheese! That's what Switzerland does!"



Least favorite cheese: artisan cheese
Reason: because most of it tastes gross... and I'm really just here for the wine.

For those of you who don't know, artisan cheese is another way of saying "expensive cheese". You can spot artisan cheese by the really weird names, textures, flavors and rediculous price tag. The only think about these cheeses is that they sometimes come in wheel form. This to me is amazing and I wish every food product could come in wheel form with a thin protective layer around it so you could... uh... roll it around... and stuff.

Found at: Wine and Cheese Parties & Expensive French Resturants
Overheard: "the Limburger and 86' Riesling pairing was absolutely to die for."




Most cheesiest Cheese: Nacho
Reason: Chips, jokes and fatness

Nacho cheese is the only cheese that has made its way into jokes. This is due to the fact that when said fast or drunkenly mumbled "Nacho" sounds like "not your"... with a southern twang. Also it's the only cheese that can be pumped out of a condiment tank at skin searing temperatures. Besides, if Nacho cheese didn't get an honorable mention in the "column-de-la-cheese" there would be a lot of angry fat people looking for me and I'm too pretty to die.

Found at: Ball Parks, Convenient Stores and In the arteries of the morbidly obese.
Overheard: "can i have some more cheese on my fried mayonnaise balls?"

Coolest Cheese you never heard of: Port Wine
Reason: It looks rad and tastes even better

Port Wine cheese is awesome. Don't believe me... try it.

Found at: Random grocery stores and other spots that carry weird shit
Overheard: "Port Wine cheese is awesome. Don't believe me... try it."



So that sums up my ode to cheese. So remember next time your sucking down a can of easy cheese that there is a variety out there and it never hurts to try new things. And if you find god in a grilled cheese sandwich.. let me know.


Creepy Creepy Clown on Ebay!

I found this creepy clown on ebay and i thought everyone should have a good look at it just in case it is something you cant live without in your home or office.


Made from rare bones of dolphin it looks to stand about 8 inches tall with a hand painted crooked smile and a goofy hat.


HAhahaha.....


If you guys see any more funny stuff for sale on line, send it over.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Russian Soccer Fans Urged To Drink Whisky To Ward Off The Swine Flu Virus

"That should cure all symptoms of the disease."

Its ok man, just put some whisky on it.

*I think this guy works for the whisky company for something...

Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whisky on their trip to Wales for next month's World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country's supporter association (VOB) said Monday.

"We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisky as a form of disinfection," VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.

"That should cure all symptoms of the disease."

Russia's Health Ministry has issued a public warning against traveling to Britain because of the spread of the H1N1 virus but Shprygin said he expected at least several hundred fans would go to Wales for the September 9 qualifier in Cardiff.

"Health officials say this virus is very dangerous but being a fan myself I can tell you that for a real fan nothing is more important than the well-being of the team," said Shprygin, who also sits on the executive board of the Russian FA.

"Russian fans don't fear anything or anybody so this virus will not stand in our way of supporting our team."

The Russian FA also said health issues should not prevent fans from traveling.

Full Story

Mondays Wasted Weekend Pic Drop

Its been a rough weekend, i hope everyone has recovered but i have a feeling there are a few people who have not. Thanks everyone for your entries and keep up the good work in the weekends.

Ah, true friends, bustin out the Blackberrys for My Serch For God


He si probably just taking a nap for round 2

Im not sure how this works, or if it even does. Who is taking the picture, the bathroom attendant?

Happy 18th Rich, wait till you turn 21

These girls are taking Madona's idea of a bra to another level

Check back every Monday for photo updates on the weekend's search for god. If you have any from your searches send em over Sunday and ill get them up! (email link is at the bottom of my homepage)

Contact: Dont Be Scared

Email us your sweet pics and videos and we will throw them up.

drunk@mysearchforgod.com

or
Open email in outlook

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